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The Emperor is outraged that his best soldiers can't even remember the last time they killed something, and wonders what exactly they do - ' stand around and fap in the palace?'.

You weren't ever useful for anything other than sweet talk, were you? Speaking of which. Little Kitten, the elected one, purring his way so far into our ranks. What was your name again?Ĭustodisi: Didn't we used to call him 'little kitten' before he was elected as the Emperor's own personal caretaker? Karstodes: You! We don't see you much around anymore, brother. The Custodes: I just want you to know, my lord, that this was not my idea. The Emperor: So this is how you mourn the death of me, huh? Whammudes: My oiled abs quiver at your voice! Karstodes: Mmm, mmm, mmm! My GLORIOUS overlord! The Emperor of Mankind! I am honoured to be in your presence once more.Ĭustodisi: It has truly been too long, my lord. What in the name of Terra on fucking roller skates is this? He thinks the discussion is stupid and everyone should just have their rectums replaced with servo skulls. Shares the Adeptus Mechanicus' obsession with technology and habit of constantly saying that people should replace their flesh withe mechanical parts, but is dialed up to 11. Everything he says comes out as a little tune.

The Fabricator General of Mars isn't so much senile as he is detached from reality.

He knows that he needs to keep the top military officials of the Imperial Guard functioning and capable of doing their job, but sees your base level guardsman as little more than the lasguns they carry.

The Lord Commander Militant of the Imperial Guard is relatively lucid compared to the Grand Provost Marshal or the Master of the Administratum, but for all the wrong reasons.

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The Grand Provost Marshal is the most senile of the four, is so obsessed with the law that he makes regular use of Judge Dredd's 'I AM THE LAW!' catchphrase, and by is own admission later in the series making new laws is his favorite thing which doesn't go down well when you have someone like the Master of the Administratum throwing out bad ideas left and right.More terrifying still he's either blissfully ignorant to that fact or just doesn't care. The Master of the Administratum is arguably the most alarming of the four, throwing out ideas for laws that are mostly petty if not outright pointless, largely self-serving, and only add to the already disgustingly long Book of Judgement.Let's go down the roster of the High Lords of Terra, shall we? The High Lords of Terra? You know, the people who are responsible for running the Imperium on a daily basis? They're a bunch of senile old weirdos who consider the discussion of the banning of laxatives for everyone but themselves.

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